The Mother of Them All

Blog 18 – the mother of them all

This is it people – the one that makes the previous outings look like a – I don’t know what – something small. Such is the content of the one amongst many, the remainder pale to insignificance in word age numbers to the extent of I might make two out of it.

There’s a thing about all roads leading to Blackpool or some such place, you know what I mean the centre of a universe. But a uni verse implies a single void of something – if that’s the case how can we be uni with all the life that’s out there (another day children another day)?

Strand 1

In what has led to a memorable occasion, the story begins a long time ago in a place many galaxies from here – you got it - Fairynuff City – thank you members. Not really it was a couple of Christmas’s ago when opening parcels and packages and cards with tokens, cards without tokens (cheapskates), and all the other paraphernalia (it’s right I looked it up) we came across a small treasure in the shape of a box-type envelope with ‘buyapressie’ (the name’s been changed to protect my wallet) stamped on the outside. Stupid that comment cos if it was on the inside, you couldn’t read it - You’re not getting past me today. The finding of this treasure came early in the proceedings as the family will tell you. Our tradition is to all gather in the lounge (main bedroom when they were younger) and open a few ‘smaller ‘ gifts before a break to get things started, like tea and special biscuits, turn on the oven, get the saucepans ready, you know what I mean. The little box type card was opened partway through and exposed a ‘voucher’ explaining that we had a cash amount to spend on whatever we fancied from their range of opportunities.  As always when put on the spot we couldn’t think of a single thing, so being tactful parents we said we’ll check out the web site and sort something, and proceeded with the rest of the day.

After the day had drawn to an end and we’d had enough of the games for one evening (I think that the children would agree that 2.30 in the morning is plenty late enough) we packed our gifts away in the biggest box we could find, took it upstairs, and put it in a cupboard with the warning that it’s expiry date was August and we had to use it. Scene fades and re-opens in Strand 2

Strand 2

Well here we are back in the days of school yards, and a continuation of my ‘hero-worship’(that may be a bit strong) of the country’s only spy apart from Harry Palmer (10 out of 10 if you know where from).   As is the way of the world people collect ‘things’ both common or rare, new or old, cheap or expensive, specific or non-specific, sane or insane, or cards of such variety the list seems almost endless.  Those of us of a certain age will remember our fathers collecting card from cigarette packets, with so many diverse themes the mind boggles. I recall sets with famous sportsman, birds and steam trains (big Phil has a set mounted in a glass frame). Not to be out done PG Tips also went for cards in certain sized packets of their tea. Theirs was a fantastic range of topics, birds, wildlife, wildflowers, freshwater fish, you name it.  But it wasn’t just pictures, for the size of the card, the information on the card was amazing.   So as not to be outdone the bubble gum manufacturers had a go, but with much more pazazz, including famous footballers and – wait for it --  James Bond  (see where this is leading).   These cards (of which I had a full set) came with pictures of the actors and actresses as well as shots from the movies.  It cost me a fortune in bubble-gum to collect enough cards so as to have some which were duplicated – better known as ‘Doubles’ or ‘swopsies’. With enough cards you could barter your way to a full set of fifty (I think) with likewise enthusiasts.  Being the avid fan I soon had a full set – obviously of cards definitely not brains.  As an aside, I had what might be called a bit of a crush on one of the female characters from my favourite Bond film.  The character was Pussy Galore played by an actress named Honor Blackman.  Ms Blackman was already famous as ‘Cathy Gale’ an early form of Lara Croft.  So being the mug I am, I wrote to the tv studios where I thought she worked, with a request for autographs on all the cards bearing her picture. The funny part is that I had returned all the cards signed. Whether the autographs were genuine I’ll never know but…

 Strand 3

In the previous JB and me I’ve looked at the silly and very tenuous links I have with and to JB, all in a bit of fun and, as my daughter no.1 describes it – weird linking of a number of coincidences.

Things like the premier of You only live twice, Bond cards, seeing the AM, taking a day out to Piz Gloria, the attached case complete set of JB DVDs, The soundtrack LP of Goldfinger,  all the small strands that are leading to last week-end, and a day to remember.

That said I just remembered that 2.54 is either stupidly late or insanely early.

Either way my eyes keep closing and my addled brain is repeating ‘go to bed, start tomorrow, go to bed, start tomorr…..